Pigs Flew Today

Finally, after over a quarter century, I learned to cook.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known how to fry an egg for a while; and boil spaghetti. But, I’ve never been able to (and am still learning to) understand words like, “sauté” or “marinate” or “sear”.

But, this week, after seeing how much of a [cooking] toll this Whole30 diet has taken on B (I don’t think we’ve ever had this many home-cooked meals in a row), I thought to myself, “Theodore, you can run a protocol that will detect the amount of protein concentration in a mutated fibroblast- but you can’t make an omelet?!”

So, I manned up and googled some basic (yet, impressive-looking to my girlfriend) recipes. And I must say, it feels pretty damn good to have made something edible for a change. I still don’t see the point/fun in cooking- it takes an hour to make something, only to scarf it down in two minutes- but, hey, I’m trying ‘ere.

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Caption: May I present to you, the only photo I have of my culinary masterpieces, thus far: the avocado/cucumber/tomato salad with grilled (or is it pan-fried?) chicken-and-apple sausages.

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